"It Be Your Own People"

I've got to get better about updating this thing.

It's been a game of adjust and seek in our neck of the woods! We're adjusting to a new job (his) and preparing the house for another baby while juggling the regularly scheduled programing. We homeschool and that's taking up quite a chunk of time--our big girl is entering the 6th grade, and our toddler is showing so much readiness that we've begun a pre-K program for him.

In the midst of all this, I would love to tell you I'm kicking it with the squad, taking some time to remember me as a person while I'm remembering everyone else.

Tuh.

Which brings me around to my point...

Have you ever noticed how marginalized some communities are? The homeschool moms don't usually sit with the brick and mortar moms. The single moms don't hang with the married moms. The elephant moms don't hang with the tiger moms.

As far as doing couple-y things, we are all generally left to separate ourselves even more. In Georgia, interracial couples aren't new. In fact, there's a lot of us. A visible lot. So it should stand to reason that finding like families to do activities with sometimes should be a breeze.

Or that, you know, maybe a bunch of adults could just NOT see a person's (or their mate's) skin and focus on what they bring to the friendship, community, world???

I'm about as woke as a person can be. I read, travel, and immerse myself in my culture. I read beyond what I'm fed and have educated my hubby and kids about our true history. I even corrected his misconceptions about it, because he only had what he was fed. I am more Malcolm X than MLK for sure, and often assert that BLACK is my favorite color, flavor, life. You can't tell me my Black is anything less than magnificent. This melanin pops severely, baby!

What I'm noticing is, no matter how woke and down for the cause I am, it's never enough to pass the purity test once my "co-wokers" realize my husband isn't Black too. Like maybe my passion, my drive to make an impact doesn't count somehow, because my love isn't jet Black.

When I've experienced shade (you know, those slight--or sharp--jabs people throw) about my relationship, it has never come from Becky down the way. When my children miss out on activities invites, it's not Susan who forgot to call them up.

Nah, bro.

IT BE YOUR OWN PEOPLE!

I blog--they don't relate so they don't read. We do social media at times--but while his friends and fam support fully, mine are generally not present. When we host events and dinners, it's usually his people filling the rosters. Even in our immediate circled, we have that friend or two who will casually ignore any update or sidestep any conversation, except where they perceive a hint of discord.

I feel as if the blacklisting is more their loss than mine. But it still smarts somehow.

I don't subscribe to that colorblind thing, but I do wish people would at the very least give us a fair shake before deciding we are abandoners of culture, diluters of the gene pool, haters of self.

Because we are NOT.

As I said, "It be your own people, tho."